Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.

 

thecutestofthecute:

sometimesyoureyoung:

spoken-not-written:

the next time you think you’re lonely, just remember you have about 25 billion white blood cells in your body protecting your sorry little ass with their life. you have 25 billion friends who would die for you. no need for tears.

I actually needed that. 

this is so important

potterbird:

Daniel Radcliffe's acceptance speech for the Man of the Year Glamour Award, 2013. (x)

quasigeostrophy:

rockcandymelted:

tobefitforme:

im allergic to penicillin
this is me every time i go to the doctor.
she forgets everytime.

gotta love your nurses, people.

I think there’s a Facebook group that made t-shirts along the lines of “Be kind to nurses. They keep doctors from killing you.” My mom was a nurse for over 40 years.

(Source: sandandglass)

I’ve been married for five years. To the same woman. I’ve wanted to divorce her at times. She’s wanted to divorce me at times. But one great thing about marriage, when it’s entered by regular folks, in good faith, is that it’s hard to exit. It costs money. You have to talk to lawyers during business hours except whoops—you have a job that you need to earn money to buy food and pants—so when are you going to both take the time to do that? By the time you’d have gotten around to it, you’ve forgiven each other and maybe even reached a new appreciation for each other as you worked through whatever seemingly insurmountable problem made you hate each other for 20 minutes while you sat in your shitty car outside a CVS yelling at each other and crying.

Rob Delaney (via sethjones)

Pretty sure this is from my open letter to Kim Kardashian about suing her for divorcing that basketball player she married for 20 minutes. Just reposting since my wife and I have now been married for eight years and have two kids. That’s nice.

(via robdelaney)